I’m taking this post to write out an official welcome to Elty, the Chameleon to the Lusion Technologies team. We have been monitoring Elty’s progress through Iam, the School for Chameleons for some time now and we are glad to announce that he passed with flying colours (mainly green), and will be joining our team starting 1st of June.
Elty has been through a rather harsh history, and while we generally do not disclose personal information of our employees, we would like you to read about Elty as we are using him purely to legalise our business according to the affirmative (yes) action laws.
Elty, born Elton Tyranson in 1658 to a wealthy family in Eastern Europe, grew up according to the customs which lack precise definition (Wikipedia – Eastern Europe), although he managed to cope just fine with his Soviet brothers. His eldest brother however, Kerensky, was a traitor to his family and Elty quickly managed to erase his memory of him when he left home in 1672. Elty has not heard the name in three-hundred and thirty six years, and we politely request you do not remind him of his brother.
After leaving home shortly after the great October Revolutions of 1672, he settled in France. There he married his first wife Edith, who unfortunately died in a tragic bicycle crash in 1684, two years after their marriage. Elty was scarred and hibernated in a tree, just East of the *** border, until 4 years ago, 2004.
We rejoined Elty’s story on the 23rd of September 2004, although we have since learned that his hibernation (Chameleons have the incredible ability to hibernate without aging) ended sometime around the 4th of April. What he did between April and September we do not know, but we can speculate (the Aegyptus people gained chameleon-like abilities at around that time).
From September 2004 through to one month ago (25th April 2008), Elty spent literally all of his time, (except for a 15 minute excursion in March 2006 to buy some halloumi cheese, which the university of Iam refused to stock) at his university and because of their abusively strict privacy laws, we were not allowed to place cameras, recording the whole premises.
The time between the completion of his course (25th of April) and today (29th May), Elty has been begging Tim (his imaginary friend who pretends to work for Lusion Technologies) for a job, which Josh (me) overheard one day (22nd May) while traveling on a public bus. For the last week we have been making final arrangements to have Elty join the team as an official third member, and according to his mother – he is very happy to be here too.
“The events described in this post are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.”
